A golf player is someone who can drive 70 miles an hour in heavy traffic with perfect ease; but blows up on a two-foot putt if somebody coughs.
Anon |
A golfing trophy is merely proof of the putting.
Shelby Friedman |
A tap-in is a putt that is short enough to be missed one-handed.
Henry Beard Golfing (1985) |
Few pleasures on earth match the feeling that comes from making a loud bodily-function noise just as a guy is about to putt.
Dave Barry |
Gimme: an agreement between two losers who can't putt.
Jim Bishop |
I enjoy the 'oohs' and 'aahs' from the gallery when I hit my drives. But I'm getting pretty tired of the 'aaws' and 'uhhs' when I miss the putt.
John Daly |
I'd rather watch a cabbage grow, than a man worrying his guts over a two-foot putt.
Michael Parkinson |
If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.
Dean Martin |
I'm having putting troubles. It's not the the putter, it's the puttee.
Frank Beard |
Jack Spratt could only drive, his wife could only putt. So between them both, you see, they had a lot of trouble in bunkers.
Anon |
My favourite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest cannot be mastered.
Lord Robertson |
Putting is clutch city. Usually my putting touch deserts me under pressure. From five feet in to the hole you are in the throw-up zone.
Dave Hill |
Show me a man with both feet firmly planted on the ground and I'll show you a man making a crucial putt on the 18th green.
Herm Albright |
The Coarse Golfer is one who shouts 'Fore!'when he putts.
Michael Green The Art of Coarse Golf |
The fellows today play too much golf. They burn themselves out. And on their tombstones it says: 'Here lies a millionaire. The downhill putts got him.'
Gene Sarazen |
The golf game isn't over till the last putt drops.
Gary Middlecoff |
The way I putted today, I must've been reading the greens in Spanish and putting them in English.
Homero Blancas (1970) |
When a golfer these days misses a 40-foot putt, he grimaces and agonises like a cowboy struck in the heart by an Indian arrow.
Ben Hogan (1975) |
Why am I using a new putter? Because the old one didn't float too well.
Craig Stadler (1983) |
